Nervous start

Okay so I got thinking the other night about how everything is going right now with local preaching and I meant to post it but didnt, so below is what I had written and even though I don't (always)think like that this is how I was feeling and thinking.

'It was simple when I was younger. I hadn't a clue where I was going and didn't worry about how I was going to live I just trusted I was on the right path. Now I know where I'm headed I'm scared. It appears  that somewhere along the path I've dropped my trust and started to panic instead. And now instead of standing on the waves I'm sinking. But why am I so worried when I've reached where I was heading. Shouldn't I be taking my saviours hand and saying 'okay that was a fun journey, all along the flats, thank you for leading me to the top of this little hill, ooh look at that mountain is that where were going? Brilliant you know the path well, I'll follow where you lead.' Instead I'm thinking of lions and tigers and bears (oh my!) and it's worrying me. Everything I've been shown in the flat has prepared me for the mountain and okay maybe I'll find myself skirting round the outside only going halfway up but if I do that it will be because I need to. Not coz I want to. I hope. 

I'm reminded of a event while on holiday, my friends mum was worried it was going to rain while we were on our way to a city I ( thought I) knew well. And I remember saying to her 'don't worry you see those mountains? The rain will be pulled towards them and we should stay dry.'

'Mountains don't do that!' She replied they live on a lovey flat plain. 

'I've lived round hills and mountains all my life I've seen it. Trust me, we'll stay dry.' 

And we did. So why can't I have that confidence here now. 

He'll not let me fall off the path, he'll guide me and be my light in the dark. So all I have to do is follow. It's a lot harder than it looks'

So there you have it.... Now lets head up that mountain!