Happy Christmas.

So it's that time of the year again and it's getting close to another day. 

Maybe you've opened all your gifts, (if you had any!) and maybe you've fallen to sleep in front of the telly. 

Whatever's happened to you today I hope it's been a good day. 

Christmas started for me this time yesterday when shuffling through my Facebook feed I hit upon something and I started to cry. (Emotional lows heading to a blog near you!)  I was a bit sad but also suddenly happy. 

This is what I realised (it's a little bit obvious so please forgive me)

Those tiny baby hands.... They're going to grow. 

And they're going to have hard nails hit into them. Nails that aren't much bigger than the hands are now. And at the moment, while this tiny tiny baby is just a baby. No one knows here on earth what will happen thirty three years down the line. 

We had a four day old baby in church this morning, she was as good as gold, quiet and relaxed. After nearly everyone held her. I didn't want to. I was so scared I'd start to cry.  Instead I looked at her tiny little hands for a second. And then focused on her happy parents. 

I did cry today though. I was given a book by a relative and with it a beautiful carved book mark. (I will take a picture!)

The book mark is like a paperclip, but it has an elephant on. And with last nights realisation and Christmas in general. I couldn't stop crying.  What was worse was I had to (or felt I had to) explain why I was crying.

Once again I miss my nan. 

But this Christmas has been nice. And it's not quite over yet, as there are still people to see. 

I didn't give any presents this year, I didn't even write cards. So for all my friends I will get round to giving you something, (even if it's being quiet when you ask me to be!) just be aware it might be next November!

And even though it's only got half an hour to go, I'd like to say.

Happy Christmas. To all of you. 

I hope it was a good one. And if maybe like me it wasn't or you got upset. Here. Have this!(*HUG!*) it might not help, but there are many days yet to come. If your going up a tough steep hill, think of the view from the top! And the rush of running back down the other side. 

And to paraphrase tiny Tim 

God bless you, everyone. XxX 

My mum.

We fight, We yell.

We hug and love. 

We think the other is brilliant! 

We think the other is horrible! 

We look after the other, 

We couldn't care less about the other. We share clothes, 

We think what the other wears is silly. 

We talk, 

We ignore each other. 

We think the other is beautiful. 

We think the other is not pretty. 

We want the other to change.

We don't want the other to change a thing. 

But above all. 

Today my mum is 60!!!

I love her. I miss her when I'm not home. (At least a little bit!)

We have the same temper and the same sort of face. We have the same size feet. 

She annoys the life out of me sometimes but I wouldn't change her for anything. 

I love you mum. 

Happy birthday. 

Love Trish. XxX 

On trial. A.k.A. testing testing one, two,three

I have choice to make. It's a little bit silly but it could be vitally immportant. 

It's cinema club today my parents get to see a film with audio description for my mum. Most of the time I go too which is good as it's normally the latest films. 

Today is captain Philips. 

Part of me wants to go. The other half of me wants to stay and sort out more stuff for my service on Sunday night

It's my trial service. It's immportant. 

So while the house is quiet do I stay and work or do I go and watch a film I couldn't see without the cinema club. 

I made up my mind last night to stay. This morning i'm not so sure. I've got a lot on this week and could probably use the extra time. But it's something we all do as a family too. I'm probably going to stay. And I'll end up procrastinating. 

This week I have 

A hair cut (in twenty minutes)

Cinema club (Monday)

Contact club (Wednesday night)

And local preachers/worship leaders social. 

Church on Sunday morning and y7up then my trial service. 

It's six clear days away. And you might think I have lots of time add in a family who likes you to drive them

Places. (Because one can't see and some times neither can the other!) and my week gets full far too quickly. 

I also have a horrible cold. 

So that said. I'll stay home... But I want to go to see the film...

The spider.

A few nights ago, I let a spider live.
I don't particularly like spiders most days. But some days I am perfectly fine with them.
I walked I to the bathroom bare footed, and saw a spider, a quite big one, common house spider probably, they type most people have in their house over winter and give a name like Frank or Fred.

Anyone here a spider fan? 

Apparently you swallow at least eight while you sleep. (Can't remember where I heard that but still!)

Please keep warm in this cold weather. 

God bless you. XxX 

Nothing to say...

I haven't posted for a while, so I thought I'd open up a fresh blog and see what happend when I started to type. Maybe that's a little dangerous! So I got back last night from a trip to see my friends in bury St Edmunds. We giggled and laughter a lot (owing a little to good friendship, and my first drink in... Four? Five years?) I mainly have a good time when I go to see them and its not too often that I'm glad to get home.

Today is my third local preachers meeting. Which means that I've been on note for six months. I find this scary but at the same time exciting. I'm still really finding out who exactly I am! It's been a journey over the last half a year or more, and I'm learning that life experiences definately shape who you are. I've noticed I'm a little more tightly strung recently. I cry a lot more and I miss people a lot more. But I laugh harder and think more too.

Partly what I like about going away is that my pace of life increases, I have people around me to motivate me and make me move. (I didn't get up till gone 10 this morning, but I was tired from traveling) I walk at a different pace when I'm in BSE, and yes I don't have any responcerbilities except to look after the people I am with and gently advise them.
That part is one of the parts I have a love hate relationship with. I love helping people, I love the fact that I am easy to approach and talk to. I hate the fact that I have to pass on opinions, and that people's problems become mine. I cannot listen help then move on. And sometimes I have what I think would be a solution, but people don't have the time or energy to carry it out. I am slowly slowly learning to put down the problems people give me at Jesus feet. And more importantly I am making sure I leave them there, instead of sneaking back, (normally at four in the morning or there abouts, and re visiting the problems stacking them again in my arms)

I don't like coming home. I feel unmotivated for the first few days, and them family life filters in. I think it would be worse if I was completely alone though.

At the service on Sunday, the verses that hit me were :-

We must not become tired of doing good. We will receive our harvest of eternal life at the right time if we do not give up. When we have the opportunity to help anyone, we should do it. But we should give special attention to those who are in the family of believers. (Galatians 6:9, 10 NCV)

And it hit me. I am oh so tired. I'm not sure what exactly to do about that, my friend told me to pray. It's advice I've been giving people for years. Tell God what's troubling you, ask for his help. And yet I feel so selfish asking for things for me. I remember writing in high school that I was 99.5% everyone else's problems, I was tired then and I've only had a short sleep between then and now. My trips away are my miniature snoozes.  That moment when your by a river that's gently flowing, the sunshine is on your face and your dont have to go anywhere at all. Somedays I want to live like that, but if I did I wouldn't make a difference.

God calls people to not tire, to not give up. I love seeing what he helps me do, I love seeing the end result when people can have time to  sit in the sun away from problems that no longer exist because of what God has done through me.

So please God. If you've got a coffee going spare, could I have a sip? I need to wake up for you.

Faith.

Not surprisingly writing sermons and prayers and taking services is hard. This is why local preachers have a time 'on note'. 

Now yes I've tipped my toes into the preaching pool and in my mind I'm not doing too badly. I'm sharing my faith more, which makes me feel great because its like introducing an awesome friend to people, yes sometimes you get a few strange looks but most of the time people are understanding and it leads to some great conversations.

But yes it's Thursday, and I'm writing a blog, which normally means I have something to say. As per usual it's a worry blog/ a self assuring blog. 

So as you might guess I'm stuck, the words for my sermon have stopped started and stopped again. My sermon is on faith and I'm trying to have faith that the words will come but it's scary. 

Yes it's short. But there you have it.  (Maybe more on Sunday night)

Trish. XxX

Ten days.

So this week has been busy and interesting. It's been hot and fiery, hot and sweaty and just hot really. I'm not complaining I like hot weather, even when I do get headaches.
My week started I'd say maybe last Monday (so a nine day week...) when I, after going over it a few times, finally sent my first sermon to a friend to read. I also had a hair cut and a phone call. The phone call was the hospital. There is something that does scare me and that is something that I have to go through every 3/5 years (stop moaning? I wish I could but I'm scared!!!) I'm feeling alright today and I go in tomorrow, tomorrow will be a day of drinking horrible stuff and then feeling awful but on Friday hopefully I can forget for a few more years and push all my fears deep down again and bury them for a while. (In the aim of keeping this post clean and not uncomfortable I'm not gonna say why I'm going in most of you know probably anyway!)
I've not been allowed to eat properly for the last day and tomorrow I'll not be able to eat a thing, (until I get home!) obviously the whole not eating normally didn't do me any favours yesterday but more in a minute!

So my sermon, my first and probably (okay definitely) not my last one. Letting it go was like breaking a favourite toy. Painful and sad, part of me wanted to keep in safe with me and not share it, but what is the point of writing a sermon if you can't share it!  I got brilliant feed back and told to send it to our mentor, she also gave me good feedback and three points to correct. Like any actor will know words when they are read are good and powerful, but the way you put life into anything is to speak them. A sermon, as we have learnt, is for speaking. Having some acting experience I know that the best way to get people to listen is to put life into what you are saying, I try to choose my words carefully, (even if I can't spell them write!) so yes I told. Simple story and stopped mid way. Story telling is something I've found I can do, luckily Jesus was a great teller of parables! So when Sunday came I was, yeas okay nervous, but on the whole I was calm. My sermon was linked with the Buckley jubilee, and part of it focused on the band and the big booming drum (I really do LOVE that drum!) so on Tuesday when I found I was walking next to the drummer near the end of the parade, I loved it!
Looking back on Sunday though I could have done better, but for a first try I did well. (Roll on my next one!)

Friday, I had a interesting trip to see some fire poi, fire staff And fire fan users. My friend was going alone so I went with her. I'm not normally into that type of thing but thinking of the experience and the fact that one day I might need it for a sermon! I went. It was fun! I met some lovely people and my friend Amy got to meet some too people who would happily help her when she wants to do slack lining (like tightrope walking only bouncy?! It's kinda in the name!) and one guy handed me a fire staff....

For those of you who don't know, my 'oh dear it's on fire' skills are very good, so much so that I managed to set my parents house on fire with a candle and a piece of tissue as I was about to sneeze, (think 'ah ah ah...(then instead of achoo) Aggghhhh, the tissues on fire!')

But! I didn't drop it! I didn't light anything around me or catch my hair, so it was a good night!

Tuesday jubilee! The first thing that happened was I nearly got mentioned as bistres youth leader by a photographer as I was chatting to a member of our youth group and the other youth leader. 'Nothing to do with me mate!' Even though they are a little are there all wonderful!
Then I met lots of my youth group, 'Nana trish!!!' 'NANA!!!!'  And then! I found my own church sadly due to people getting older we only had about seven or eight of us walking with me and Gareth holding the banner (it's heavy and I have a fantastic tan line where the strap was over my shoulder!)

So we walked! Marched, cheered smiled and generally caused the controlled wonderful chaos that is jubilee, and then people started to go home, four-ish churches behind us were the church with a lot of my youth group members in and as everyone else disappeared soon it was just me and Sylvia (another on note LP) then 'hey nana!'  I turned to find a small knot of my youth group with there church banner (I'd been relieved of my duty as the person who brought it wanted to stop walking) so for a little while we led the procession.I always feel so proud of the young people I know they're a credit to the churches they belong to and a credit to the youth group.  Two of them are at the big conference in London and have both addressed conference.anyway Then Sylvia and I left for jubilee tea.

I had been expecting not being able to eat anything, but I was hoping to have some jelly! But no, it wasn't the right colour.

So I think that's it.  God bless you all and please keep safe in this hot weather.